Thursday, February 20, 2014

Pulling Out

I have been in quite a slump the last few months. Life has been weighing too heavily on me. I have felt dark, angry, sad, and hopeless. Not all day every day, but at least part of every day. I suppose I could try and attribute it to several different things. But whatever it was, I'm pulling out. Slowly but surely reclaiming me. My energy level is back up, and the days are getting longer. The sun  comes out and pokes through the gray, dreary sky at least for a few minutes every day. And I soak up those rays like they're my life line. 
Part of what helps me is actively looking for the beauty and joy in each day. It means I'm taking more pictures. And hopefully it means I will blog more. Not because I want to portray a perfect, idealistic life. And not because I expect anyone else to care what goes on in our little world. But because focusing on the things I love about my children helps me to love being a mom. And every mother really needs to love being a mother, or she will definitely drown.

We try to take advantage of the days I'm not babysitting. This past Tuesday we went to the Zoo. I have been to the zoo twice since we've been here, and been horribly disappointed both times. However, it wasn't so bad this time. Kelsey is walking (obviously) so I wasn't fussing over a stroller for anyone. We had it pretty much to ourselves because that's one of the perks of homeschooling, and it was 20 degrees (at most). Not only that, but a lot of the animals are arctic animals and very used to cold weather. So the polar bear was playing around, the otters and seals were showing off, the snow leopard and dall sheep were moving a lot too...it was just cool to see them in their element. For some strange reason, Kelsey had a special connection to the animals that I've never seen before. It seemed like at 3 or 4 different animals they were giving her very special attention, holding eye contact, etc. It was really cute, and she was loving the attention. She really loves animals, and doesn't know to fear any of them yet. My favorite was the river otters, but the beauty of the tigers really won me over. We spotted them far away, long before we got up to the cage because their beautiful orange fur contrasted so well with the white snow. We only lasted about 1.5 hr and then our toes were so cold it hurt to walk. Plus we had seen all the animals and went home happy.


 These girls are getting too big to fit in here all together. And Brynlee wasn't supposed to get in (I specifically told her not to several times. But you see how much good that did.) They have too much fun together.

The rest of these pictures are from today (2/20). This morning I pulled out my bin of scrap fabrics and the girls had a hay-day cutting them up to their heart's content. Brynlee made a little skirt for one of her dolls. Kelsey is actually cutting paper, but still felt like she was in on it.

While they busied themselves cutting, Tyler and I hung up his collection of snowflakes. He loves to make snowflakes. He had quite a stash built up in his blue folder where he keeps all the artwork he doesn't want me to throw away. (It's bursting full.) We decided to hang up all his creations and it makes him so happy to have them displayed. Brynlee was begging him to make more because she loved it too.


We've gotten a lot more snow the last few days. We tried to go sledding, but it was a total flop and didn't work at all. It is still fun to get out, and it sure looked beautiful. The snow fell lightly all day, it was very pretty.


One of Brynlee's b-day presents arrived in the mail today from Grandma W. She spent literally hours playing with her new lego set. It's as if we didn't already have a bin of legos in our play room! ;)

Tyler's favorite game to play against me is this matching/memory game. It has beautiful pictures of polar bears, it's a really nice game. But he whoops me every single time. I am not kidding, I never win against him, which is probably why he likes it so much. I think it is extremely unfair to expect a pregnant mother of four to excel at memory games. My mind was lost long ago.


This little munchkin is definitely almost 2. Agh!! She makes me want to pull my hair out, but I love her so stinkin much it kills me. Speaking of pulling hair out, she will NOT leave an elastic or bow or anything else in her hair, even if her life depended on it. That is why she always looks like a rag-a-muffin. Btw, she's not in time out here (though I'm sure she deserved one...) she just really likes hanging out on the stairs. Her cute little bum fits perfectly :)

Of all my children, Madison enjoys cooking in the kitchen with me the very most. Everything I make, she wants to be by my side, standing on her plastic bucket, helping any way she can. I love the one-on-one time with her. And if she learns anything in the process, it's all the better.

1 comment:

Carlee Ann said...

I love this! Your kids are darling! I realized just now that I haven't met any of them and yet I'm so interested in their development and love hearing updates. haha... the glories of social media. Actually, maybe I met Tyler once in passing at BYUI. (?)

You are doing great things Lindsay! I hope you don't mind that I blog stalk you. :) I feel like you are one of my dear friends now even though I don't think we were ever that close in HS. (It's ok if you don't feel the same way. haha... I just wanted you to know how much I admire you!)

PS... LOVE that you hung up all of the snowflakes! I bet that made Tyler feel like a million bucks.

PPS... Also glad you are finding some (emotional) sunshine peeking through. Those slumps are hard! Esp when you have your hands full with responsibilities. You can do it! I have struggled with depression for a long time and understand some of those deep holes. If you ever need some encouragement please email/facebook/heck... I'll give you my number and you can text or call! :)

PPPS... Here's my number... 801.358.7898