Sometimes I feel like because I got married young and had (well, have) kids young too, that I'm behind or that my kids are at a disadvantage or something. I know that's not good to think that. And it's not that I have any regrets or anything, I'm so happy with where I am and what I'm doing. I guess it's just because I look around at people that are older and feel like they know more, and can do more, and have become so much more, or just are more. It's like their kids are so much better off because of what they as parents, mainly mothers, have to offer.
I must have had this idea of what a mother is supposed to be like, and I kept waiting for someone to push that button, in a sense, and make me that idea I've always had in my mind. Like I would all of the sudden be just so patient and full of love and strength, and that I could do all that was asked of me and more, and always with a smile on my face. Well here I am with two kids and it's still the same ol', plain ol', me. I might have been trying to ignore all my weaknesses and immaturities all these years, but I am now rudely aware of them. It's discouraging, to say the least.
Today Tyler really put me in check. I was mad, and I was "raising my voice" (to put it nicely). He shook his finger at me and said, "Mom, no yelling!" Are you kidding me? What kind of a lousy mom has to have their barely 2 year old son tell them not to yell?! Me. I hate when moms yell at their kids, and I'm one of them. There is absolutely no reason for it. That has got to stop.
No more waiting or wishing. I'm making a change for the better, no, the best version of me.
6 comments:
Linds- Please please read the message I sent you on facebook, it's SUPER important! thanks!! Love Carly
oh my goodness, lindsay! you are a great mom! i was just telling steven the other night how much i admire you as a mom. you are so proactive at becoming who you want to be as a mother...and you help me want to be better, too!
The most incredible part of this story is that Tyler has been "taught correct principles" and that he didn't do on his own. How else would he know not to yell. :) You are obviously doing a great job Lindsay!
Don't get discouraged Linds. You're doing all the right things and you are doing your best to improve as a wife and mother. Personally I think you're fabulous, and that's not even a biased opinion from a friend. :)
Well, the fact that you realize your weaknesses and have a desire to change shows a huge amount of maturaty. You are awesome and don't ever believe anyone (especially yourself) who would tell you otherwise.
At least you know he's paying attention to you! Anna will say things to her toys like we say to her, so I hear her putting them in time out and telling them to stop various things. It's actually pretty funny.
No one ever said patience comes easily, I'm in the same boat, but for now with just one kid.
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