Motherhood

Here's the thing--I think motherhood is challenging.

I'd like to think it can be challenging for all moms; that we all have some similar feelings, and problems to overcome. Tonight I was at a Gold Canyon (candles) party, and one of the other ladies there from my ward started talking about how she feels like other people are out doing productive things all day while she's just at home with her 2 little boys. It really hit home to me because today was one of those harder days for me too. (I wasn't even going to go to the party because Kenny's gone on a camp out for young mens, and I didn't want to take the kids. But I really wanted to get out of the house and talk to other women, so we went anyway.)

She commented how she does "stuff" all day, but feels like there's not really anything to show for it at the end of the day. I realized that's how I feel a lot of the time too. For example, I clean and clean and clean and there's always more cleaning to do. There's so much redundancy to the day of a mom with young kids, and you might not even be able to tell how much you have done. So anyways, the point of this post is not to go on and on about how hard or unrewarding it can be.
The point is that I think it's good for me to identify what works for me. Sometimes I'll get stuck in a rut and wonder why I'm not as happy or feel as fulfilled as I do at other times with my kids. So it's helpful to really think about and identify what I'm doing or not doing that contributes to that. I hope that some of these suggestions are helpful to some of you. The majority of you that read my blog are young moms just like me. I would really love it if you'd share some tips with me, and let me know what makes a good day, good, for you and your kid(s).

First and foremost my day has to start off right. I love to get up before my kids and read my scriptures and pray when the house is quiet and I'm all by myself. I stopped doing this when I got sick at the beginning of this pregnancy, then got back into it, and now I'm tired a lot again and have fallen back out of the habit. But I can honestly say there's a big positive difference when I can have that one-on-one time with the Lord before anything else. I have to pray for more love and patience a lot.

I have learned something about myself, that I am extremely goal-oriented. Kenny laughs at me because I always carry around my little notebook with my many lists. Even if it's not a big deal, just regular stuff to do during the day like laundry or clean the bathroom, I write it down. Because I feel like that's my own little reward system when I can cross it off after it's done...even if it doesn't stay done. But the goal thing goes for other areas as well. I think there's not really any point to this life if we're not trying to improve and progress. For me, the only way to do better and get from one point to the next is to set goals, otherwise I just kind of ho-hum along in life. I'm grateful for my parents for instilling this in me because it's sort of how I function now. Not just my daily list of things to do goals, but in all areas of my life, for all different time periods too.

Another thing that helps me feel like I am doing more for my children than just monitoring them and keeping them alive, is to have things I want to accomplish with them every day too. There are different areas that I feel are important, and I try to have a little bit of time spent in each one. I used to have a chart that we'd put stickers on for each little section but again, I need to get back into the swing of things (this post is for me more than anyone). We would do a sports time, music time, reading time, crafts time, imagination and learning time. That way it's not just like oh what can I do now to distract them. There is more purpose behind it, and I feel like their activities throughout the day have some variance and are beneficial to them (that's always the hope right?).

Shake things up a bit!! I hate when life gets so boring and you don't feel like there's anything to really distinguish one day from the next. Find some new recipes and make a fancy dinner once in a while just for the fun of it. Rearrange all your furniture for a day and see what the kids do! Find out what's in your area and go to all the free stuff. Join library reading times and play groups and get out and have fun! Plan a party just for the heck of it and have friends over with their kids. I know this is weird, but I like to watch movies in French, or put the French subtitles on if I'm watching a show with the kids so that it's more entertaining/engaging for me :).

Lastly, take time for yourself. I love to workout and that was something I made sure to take time for, although in the last month of pregnancy here I'm not able to just go run for miles and de-stress. But I do make sure that I have projects to do in sewing, and a list of books I want to read so I do that at night too. I also am trying to get better at piano playing and although I stopped taking lessons this summer, I still try to practice often. These things are for me, to help me stay me, and feel like I'm not just forgetting who I am and what I love. It's important to stay grounded and take time for yourself. You can't draw water from an empty well.

Anyways I was thinking about the scripture in Ecclesiastes 3:1 "To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven." This is a unique season of my life and I wouldn't trade it for anything. I don't want to just get through it, I want to really love it and relish in it. Tonight was a good reminder for me of how I can do that, and that it may take a little more effort, or self-discipline, but it's so much more worth it.