Today was a big day for me. I had to go 2 different places by myself with all 3 kids. I know that sounds so silly, but I really try to avoid going anywhere by myself if I have to. It's just too risky right now. Plus I hate the snow and cold on top of it. But I had to go visiting teaching. We didn't even do all 3 ladies, just one today...
NEVER AGAIN. I will not take them all to go visit an old widow who has very break-able things all over her house. It's not that I have bad kids, but they are just that, kids. I can't expect them to sit quietly on the couch for ALMOST 2 HOURS (!!! I will also never stay that long again) while I try to have a conversation with women and build a relationship. It does not work. Brynlee is taking her clothes off, turning on the tv, finding candy in glass jars and stuffing her mouth full, touching all the non-touchables, jumping on the couches, throwing fits, etc. Tyler's wrestling, jumping on the couches, needing to go to the bathroom multiple times, playing the piano and just being a little boy. Madi did great up until the end when she was joining the "let's stress mom out party" and started crying herself. She screamed her head off the whole way home because she was hungry and poopy. My stress level was at an all-time high. I quickly put Bryn down for a late nap with no lunch (and made Tyler have quiet time on my bed too), changed Madi's diaper, started feeding her and all of the sudden burst into tears. Major meltdown.
Thank goodness my husband is in tune, and called me a few minutes into it all. I love that man. I don't even know why it was all such a big deal, but it was at the time. I guess I just wish I had things under control, and I feel like I never do. That's hard to swallow. People always make comments if I go anywhere and offer help, etc. I can't help but wonder if I look as big of a mess as I feel. I don't doubt it.
I just need more patience. Patience with each situation, with my kids, and with myself. I don't know why I can't just figure it out but it seems to be a lesson I have to re-learn every day. I'm a little slow, obviously. This week I have woken up every morning and said to myself, "I am not going to get angry today." But I doubt if I ever even make it through the morning. That didn't used to be me. And I hate that I have to recommit to that goal every few hours, each time I slip up. I feel like Tyler and Brynlee are both becoming more challenging in different ways and I have a newborn on top of it, and it's a lot for me to deal with every hour of every day. Being a mom of 3 kids under 4 gives me great opportunities to learn about myself, and a lot of times I don't like what I see. Anyway...
A couple hours after we got home I had to wake Bryn up from her nap and get everyone back in the car to take Madi to her 1 month appt. She looks great! She weighs 11 pounds, 8.5 ounces which puts her at the top of the charts (97th percentile) and 22 in. long (still 75th %). I just pray she doesn't get sick too.
6 comments:
aww Lindsay you are awesome! I just have to say that I am so glad it is not only me! AND I only have 1 kid! I really look up to you for all that you do. To be honest I don't even know how you do it! Your kids sure are adorable though :)
it's been awhile since i had time to catch up on blogs!!! haha :)
you are so awesome lindsay i love your blog.
madi is getting so big!! olive is 6 months and weighs 13 lbs ... hahaha! :)
Linds, that is an impressive thing going out with 3. I really tried to avoid going anywhere by myself when I had my second. It took me a long time to finally get the hang of it. And I'm sure that will happen again in a few weeks with my third. You are wonderful, and as we both know it will get better and easier with time!
oh lindsay, that's how i feel with 2. we don't go anywhere (this week was story time and the doctor-the rest of the time we were at home.)
and every day, multiple times a day, i have to remind myself to take a deep breath, relax and be patient. it's soooo hard and i don't like that i'm like that, either. makenna and i used to have so much fun. and now i just feel like i get on her case as soon as she does something i don't like.
i'm sure you're doing great. people aren't used to seeing someone with 3 kids, that's why they offer, i guess. my friend just had her 3rd in july and she said everytime she has all 3 people comment that she has her hands full. people just don't have a lot of kids anymore. sorry this comment is so long. but i think you're doing great! and i'm glad to know i'm not the only one that struggles with the joys of motherhood!
So it makes me happy to know that even YOU have days like this!
I've heard from MANY people that three is the big number when it comes to kids. After that, it's not much of a change with each new one. once you get three down, you can do any amount. :)
Thanks Lindsay for sharing this since we've all had days like this. You're such an awesome mom, so talented.
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